You say he is kind and forgiving, but failing to take responsibility for himself in this way is laziness, selfishness, and the opposite of kindness. But I still have to inform him what I am doing with the money and he never approves because he doesn't think that it's abnormal to never: have savings, go on vacations, have money set aside for big purchases. (I hope so! When you get married, the first thing you have to forget about is selfishness. We have an amazing almost 3-year-old. I probably have 50 books that I would love to read but I cannot focus. Nevertheless, this is not something your disrespectful husband ever does. I don't even want him to be smart I just don't want to be his mom :( Im not interested in having children so that's out of the question. He may be a hard worker, but he will probably never advance into a well paying job unless he finds one of the few remaining blue collar jobs in America.

A little back story: prior to meeting my husband I was in a 3year relationship and almost got married.

I am not a doctor. My true friends know that I have admired Sen. McCain for many years, long before Barack Obama entered the political arena. Well, my response was quick, and a bit too defensive, I must admit. Hindsight is 20/20. by vonda on Indulgy.com Instead, he thinks that others are always right and that you are wrong.

I have known some mentally handicapped folks who were anything but stupid.

My pastor asked me what is it if I were to get married again what is it that I would want in a man, I thought about it and all I wanted was a man who loved God more than me . I personally don't like the term. No matter whether you are right or not, he never takes your side. That means that you have the right not to be in the mood for sex of any kind if you don’t feel like it. Like someone else said, set a budget. When someone respects you, they respect and accept the person you are, with all of your flaws and imperfections, without trying to modify you. I'm an intelligent person, but I swear I just cannot put two sentences together at times. It sounds like you have lost respect for your husband based on the way you talk about him. Even if your partner is less intelligent than you are, finding someone who respects and encourages you will lead to more happiness than selecting a partner who is equally intelligent. He doesn’t want to share all the parts of his life with you and he is doing that for a reason.

He wants you to fit his imaginary standards and he is doing everything in his power to mold you his way, without taking your personality or individuality into consideration. If you and your husband have children, you often feel like you are one of the kids instead of being an equal partner of your marriage. I think mostly is you have spent more time thinking (& practicing) in these different mental disciplines. If it gets bad I just say well, I have fibromyalgia and I am having a real bad day with my memory. Can my husband will his half of the property to someone else other than me? I ended by suggesting that he must be drunk to send me such a rude and hurtful message. Different people have different degrees of aptitude towards certain things, and they can't help it. I have trouble with my thoughts too, if I'm telling my husband something...I'll stop..and ask him what was I talking about! I do not believe that he and I can move past our differences, as it were. Then he tells me that I'm way too smart for him. Here is my question, does it bother him with the difference of intelligence? Joss: Whoa, I'm Joss. So, you’re cool with the fact that he [John McCain] was bottom of his class and only got to be a pilot because of his daddy and crashed 3 multimillion dollar planes before getting caught buy the Cong and leaving his wife when he got home who was disfigured in an accident, but waited for him while he was in prison camp? I don't judge. Information about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing and search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps. However, I have not been able to let it go. You can’t look out for your needs only while not giving a damn about your partner’s well-being. There is a possibility this could be due to some mental illness.

“Some days I feel stupid. I hate to call you since we are talking about intelligence. I consider my wife to be the breadwinner and I encourage her to go as far as she wants to in her career. Unhappily married men often say they feel as though their wives are never satisfied with anything they do, said Kurt Smith, a Northern California-based marriage and family therapist who specializes in counseling for men.

!”, “I'm right here with you all on the reading, I have trouble reading … at times, I have to go over it several before I get it! If he is in the military, the he obviously has some self-discipline, he may just need to learn to focus that discipline inward, instead of just outward. And I am not racist because…well, I’m just not. Even when he isn’t telling you this directly, it is more than clear that he doesn’t value you and doesn’t give you the place that belongs to you in this marriage. And you should definitely do something about it because you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Re: Mental illness is dumber Post by Violet » Thu Aug 06, 2015 8:21 pm You can go to your dean for back up on that one, if I remember correctly and you think it's helpful. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Change ), 72 Hours Later…Let’s Talk Depression, Crickets, and Superman. Are you dumber than dirt or just a racist?

I have been forgetting stuff and can barely carry on a conversation sometimes. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

He's not mentally retarded if he's active duty. No, Wilson loves me. — Sara Wolf. Here are some signs you love your partner more than they love … I reminded him (not that he would have ever known, not being an actual friend of mine) that I am not dumb because I was the valedictorian of my high school class and hold two degrees from the University of Chicago. Just because he isn't smart in the ways that you value and are interested in doesn't mean he isn't smart at all. I have to say that I do love my husband.

I could probably deal with this by having a few close friends who I could converse with and be stimulated intrllrctually; but my biggest struggle is to get him to understand basic money management. She goes to him and follows him. You know that if you don't have a husband and you cry for help, anyone can easily come to your aid but with a husband that doesn't care for your feelings with you, no one would want to help you.

This man obviously considers cooking and cleaning to be women’s duties and he doesn’t think of lifting finger to at least make things easier for you. I can't remember. So basically, when I met my husband I was so happy to be with someone who didn't turn everything into a heated argument that I didn't really notice that he had nothing interesting to say. How my mood was jarred into a state of anger and disbelief shortly before midnight last night, and how it is that I still have not fully recovered my former pleasant demeanor. Thing is, he is drop dead gorgeous, yet always tells me that I can find a better looking guy. Also, when the two of you do sleep together, this man is only concerned with his needs—he never puts any effort in to satisfy you and he often treats you as nothing more than a sexual object. I can't remember. I know fibrofog is common, but this seems like more.

A man who compares you to other women doesn’t respect you.

That's the way you curb impulse over spending, not by biting it off all at once, but letting it out a little at a time. No woman does. I can relate to this as I used to think that I needed everything now, vs saving my money for something better later. I have not heard back from my “non-friend,” nor do I expect to. You can change your choices at any time by visiting Your Privacy Controls. They include, but are not limited to: I don't know why this is the case but it is. You may be surprise what he comes up with. He would not understand the dynamics of the situation, anyway, which involves multiple variables that he would struggle to reconcile–my participation in Facebook, my love of John McCain, and an emotional thermometer that can move from freezing to boiling in a second. If you suffer with frequent flares, fibrofog may never really lift and you might not ever have relief.

Hindsight is 20/20. Think about it - the way you would explain something like say, a symbiotic relationship between multiple species would be completely different depending on whether you were talking to someone in 8th grade, someone in college, and someone with a degree in ecology or biology. Does he want to learn more in the areas you think are lacking? But I can't follow directions or a recipe. It took him all day to write it, but he did it. Anyone with fibromyalgia can be affected by fibrofog--men or women; however women are more likely to be affected by it. However, this is exactly what your husband is doing. However, being smart or being stupid is a choice.

Now that I'm here I'm managing his money bur hell still whine like a child for stupidities like soda/beer/cigarettes/ random things while I'm struggling to cover all the debts+survive. Laundry, cleaning, housework, car maintenance, etc?) ", “The problem I have with reading goes back to my last year in college; my grades dropped and I just could not concentrate. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Cut his losses and yours by ending it now.