And now it will be poisoned for you. Find the ball. James Murray, Enjoyment of golf, regardless of the level you play at, is primarily based on how closely you play to your level of ability. That's why I'm hoping you, Bleacher Report readers, will add some of your own content in the comments. Peter Jacobson, 33. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, Of course. To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well. On the Green In Two. Joe Torre, It is not possible to play golf consistently well without sound mental skills. Jack Lemmon, There are many things you can successfully fake in businessbut a good golf swing isnt one of them. A lot of Seniors love playing golf and also, they love jokes. Figure out your weakness and dont make it your weakness anymore. Stacy Lewis, 60. Id cry too if I played golf like you. Its possible, by too much of it, to destroy the mind. A dinner without wine. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" So we finish the 18th, and he's gonna stiff me. How can you tell which golfer is a womanizer? Are you into kinky stuff? Golf is such an individual game, and no two people swing alike. Kathy Whitworth, 14. However, every person playing the game has the basis of good mental skills for golf. Enjoy! Whats the shortest distance between the tee and the hole? Even though youre a little ashamed of what you have done, you know you will do it again. Why are there 18 holes on a golf course? There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. However, it's been poisoned for me by the fact that it was often relayed to customers at a golf course I worked at by an overweight 90-year-old man while I awkwardly feigned amusement in repeated moments of shared weirdness. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. You'll get wet outside and inside with these sexy quotes. Robert Fuller Murray, I am relying on the theory that playing golf is just like riding a bike and that I havent forgotten how. Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver! To find a mans true character, play golf with him. P.G. ", Fear comes in two packages fear of failure, and sometimes, fear of success. Tom Kite, 21. Check it out now! All of them. So what's it gonna be today, Stroke Play or Skins? now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); "If you break 100, watch your golf. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? And, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks. Not sure who said it, but whoever did understands the game, at times, doesnt make much sense. What is the difference between Rory McIlroy and Princess Diana? Grizzly bear droppings have small bells, golf-gloves, sunglasses and other similar golf items in them and they usually smell like pepper spray. If the point of golf is to hit the ball less, then do I win if I don't play at all? Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be? No matter the distance, its through that tall tree over there. If you break 80, watch your business.". P. G. Wodehouse, The difference between a good golf shot and a bad one is the same as the difference between a beautiful and a plain woman a matter of millimeters. -- Lee Trevino "Golf is not a game, it's bondage. - Mickey Mantle. I, with my lovely Wishian team, gather the expressions, sort them out, organize them with suitable background images, and serve them to you. And three, have a passion for what youre doing. Juli Inkster, 28. Bye Bye Birdie. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. ~ Sijin Bt. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20 foot putt. Golf Skirts & Golf Skorts Stylish, Fun & Comfortable. "We learn so many things from golfhow to suffer, for instance.". Two couples were enjoying a competitive, best-ball match wives against husbands with the losers buying lunch and a libation. Relate what your buddy said after a five-putt, the joke your grandfather made about the ballwasher or your golf junkie pal's philosophy about the parallel between golf and life. All the fans are gone! I'm still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing. See you in the Email! How Long Does It Take to Play 18 Holes of Golf? But there is a difference between playing well and hitting the ball well. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. In case he gets a hole in one. Photo: Shutterstock. Ben Hogan, I know I am getting better at golf because Im hitting fewer spectators. Nothing. Because if you aren't hurt, you're not really trying. What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? I just havent played yet. Muhammed Ali, I mean, who else could say something like this? I was off to-day! Mark Twain, The average golfer doesnt play golf. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if youre not good at them. Roy Tin Cup McAvoy, the greatest that never was. You are signed up for our newsletter! Why a carrot as a logo? Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Of course, after painting the Mona Lisa, you'll likely soon be back to bleeding. I promise to lick your balls clean and polish your shaft before and after each use during the upcoming golf season. "I'm the best. Don't worry to do dirty jobs. He looked at his caddie and said, Ive played so badly all day, I think Im going to drown myself in that lake., The caddie, quick as a flash, replied, Im not sure you could keep your head down that long.. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, humor. In a way, this quote is a stand-in for the entire volume of comedic wit and great golf quotes in Caddyshack. He's the one getting his balls cleaned. Weve all been humbled by this game and have learned that a sense of humor can be the most important club in the bag. You dont know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket. Lee Trevino at his best. A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course. Dr. Bob Rotella, 49. Another Ball in the Trees. Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain, the famous wordsmith who also said golf is a good walk spoiled. Which pro golfers can jump higher than the flag? The most redundant thing on a golf course is a ball-washer on a hole with water hazards. Why is Hearts a golfers worst card game? Why did Tarzan spend so much time at the golf course? A little girl was at her first golf lesson when she asked a question. Whos there? Short Golf Jokes & Puns 1. but I can show you what is! The threesome were curious what was going on. From the best players to ever pick up a club to past presidents of the United States, the game of golf is the great equalizer. 47 Hilarious Quotes About Driving. We have a threesome, care to join us? J.R. Rim, Till saints and angels hymn forevermore / The miracle of your astounding score / And He who keeps all players in His sight / Walking the royal and ancient hills of light / Standing benignant at the eighteenth hole / To everlasting Golf consigns your soul. 1. You've got the nicest boobs I've seen outside a PGA Tour locker room. This post may contain affiliate links. Are you a Nike One Platinum ball because I'd like to see you on a T? Ben Hogan, To find a mans true character, play golf with him. Many of these expressions of life, result in taking the form of wishes, quotes, greetings, messages, and captions. It's included here because of the hilarious mental image it evokes. I'm a bit tired, so can we just play your backside tonight? THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. 2023 DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes, 17 Awful (But Mostly Funny) Golf Fails from 2013, This new Top Flite commercial is sophomoric, inappropriate, and very funny. Just ask my ex -wives. Funny Family Poems. What does masturbation and 4 putting have in common? 1. The brush is quite thick, but he searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. "I'm in my bed you're in your bed ". I just finished a round of golf, wanna be my 19th hole today? Check out these hilarious jokes that are guaranteed to make you smile. How many does he do?, Man: Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass.. Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do. Bruce Crampton, 63. And there are windmills. He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. The harder you practice, the luckier you get. Gary Player, 32. Playing golf is fun and exciting, but these Short Golf Jokes will make your game enjoyable. At the golf corpse! He doesnt hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. When a golfer lies, he doesnt have to bring any proof home. The greatest single lesson to be learned from golf is mental discipline. Louise Suggs, 51. What Is The Difference Between a Golf Skirt and a Tennis Skirt? SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? After some deliberation, he takes out his 3 iron and sails the ball 20 feet over the pin, and backs it up to within 3 feet of the pin. Your email address will not be published. Learn More. Well, I bet that these Knock Knock Golf Jokes can knock you up in the ground laughing! How I Lost Weight Playing Golf & Other Golf Benefits, Golf And Fitness Tips from a TPI Golf Fitness Instructor, How to Improve Your Handicap and Golf Game, How To Know What Golf Club to Use on the Golf Course, Goal Setting is a Great Way to Improving Your Golf Game, Best Putters for Women 2023 Find the Best Ladies Putters, Black Friday and Cyber Monday Golf Discounts. Instead, here's a great clip of Chi Chi talking about ladies he sees golfing. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Drop some in the comments! Are you looking for some funny jokes? Showing 1 to 56 of 56 entries Click me to show the form! A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. Short Golf Sayings And Quotes For Good Luck Shots, Funny Golf Quotes For Ladies And Gentlemen, TOP 30 Best Sayings On Theory | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, TOP 30 Meaningful Sayings On Sweet Love | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Notable Quotes About Subtle | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, TOP 30 Meaningful Quotes About Volunteerism | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Top Quotes About Snuggle | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 27+ Revolutionary Sayings On Hysterical | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Favorite Sayings About Hypocrites | Free Hd Background Images Download, 92+ Meaningful Sayings About Hypocrisy | Free Hd Wallpaper Images Download, 21+ Creative Sayings About Hypnosis | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, 12+ Beautiful Sayings On Hype | Free Hd Background Pictures Download. Keep your head down. If you drink, dont drive. Because all the other four letter words were taken. Youre shooting for the green, and yet, in the end you find yourself in the hole. Again the announcement: Would the man on the womens tee kindly back up the mens tee!, Mike had had enough and shouted: Would the horses ass in the clubhouse with the loud speaker kindly shut up and let me play my damn second shot!. course sometime. Whos there? What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? Dirty Golf Pick Up Lines; Dirty Music Pick Up Lines; Dirty Holiday Pick Up Lines; A great shot is when you pull it off. What did Chamillionaire say when he came in a stroke under par? Palmer calmly said, What the hell do you want it to back up for?. I . Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. 3. A man without a woman is like a pistol without a trigger; it is the woman who makes the man go off. 6. 2. A good golfer has the determination to win and the patience to wait for the breaks. Gary Player, 53. Colleen Ferrary Bader, Behold, my child, this touching scene, the golfer on the golfing-green / Pray mark his legs uncanny swing / The golf-walk is a gruesome thing! The flowing robes, the grace, bald striking. 5. Pick your favorite one from more than 86 quotes about funny golf with images and use it wherever you like. The little ball that sat motionless, defying you to hit it. ~ Victor Hugo. "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.". Jay Griffiths, Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented. Arnold Palmer, 2. My caddy says I should use a hard 7. Ahole in oneis amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. Well have whatever Mac OGrady is smoking. And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." Because it would interrupt their tea time. What do you call a blonde at a golf course? My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows. You grind it out. Tiger Woods, 54. Perhaps it's the depth of (often negative) emotion the average golfer feels as a result of the game that inspires him to wax poetic. Full Text: Thank you for still being my friend even though I only talk about my horse and I smell like a barn. What is a golfers favorite bird? Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions. Its almost a law. Golfing is like masturbation, sex, or pooping?! She can only show you her dirty secrets in private, only with you. nay I my child, and eke, oh! Why did the golfer have to change his socks? The worst day of mini golf beats the best day of work. Its to move on. I'm pretty good with my short putts. If you like football - I would rather think that you are active, optimistic and strict a bit. How many strokes was that? Gone golfin' be back dark thirty. Which course gives Tiger Woods the most trouble? "Your game is so bad you had to have your ball retriever re-gripped!" Babe Ruth once said, "It took me 17 years to get three thousand hits in baseball. Funny common dirty golf pictures meme Matching search results: #8: I never had one thought all week. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. 20. Why did Snoop Dogg bring an umbrella to the golf course? Pick the quote from here which describes your inner thought. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. Furthermore, the old man moves along without wasting any time. Drops him off at the golf course! What are a golfers favorite flowers? He went up to her, talked to her, and convinced her to come back to his hotel room for the night. It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Mike was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the mens tee, please!. 1. She makes sure he practices having a stroke first to make sure he's handicapped when he meets a blond working at one. I'm a bit tired so how about we just play your backside tonight? The fourth putt! Were done with golf puns and jokes, but well leave you with a bonus the top 10 not actually dirty golf innuendos: What are some of your favorite golf puns? Why was Cinderella such a poor golfer? Ben Hogan, I dont play golf to feel bad, I play bad golf, but I feel good. Andrew Barton Paterson, A boss once told me, Colleen, its not about the meeting, its about the scotch after the meeting. The next minute youre painting the Mona Lisa.. Discover and share Dirty Quotes For Women Golfers. No matter what you shoot the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin again and make yourself into something. Where do ghosts play golf in the afterlife? Because I'm going to come after you aggressively and probably leave a ball mark. Here is a list that I have compiled over the years of my some of my favorite golf quotes. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. I love the contrast between the agony of a golfer bleeding out and the ecstasy of a moment of creative genius. Have a look at these best picture quotes of funny golf. Ewan McGregor, It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." -Lee Trevino "Golf is my profession. You can talk about strategy all you want, but what really matters is resiliency. Hale Irwin, 50. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." - Arthur Daley. Nothing it should have ducked. He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. Bruce Lansky. Daphne du Maurier, With many twists and holes life is much like a golf game; without bats, you cannot Play. Just as in life, you are presented with options; its up to you to decide which ones suit you best. Sandra Haynie, 30. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. Bring some friends, and we can play a foursome. I'm known on the tour for having a lengthy club. Robert Fuller Murray, Be a mind beater-not a ball beater. Kurt Philip Behm, Golf is an ideal diversion but a ruinous disease. Not just in the game, but that can be applied to life, relationships and ones mindset. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? -Happy Gilmore. The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes. From the moment I saw you, I've had a vertical shaft angle. A great golf course both frees and challenges a golfers mind. Tom Watson, 7. 3. I'm gonna pound you like I do these range balls. Mickey Mantle, Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course the space between your ears. Americans infatuated with golf established country and golf clubs, built ornate clubhouses, laid out inland park courses, experimented with new types of equipment, and even modified time-honored rules. Michael Connelly, The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. Do you know why the game is called golf? "Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Golf is like doing your taxes. 1. Like a PGA Tour pro once said to his pro-am partners, youre not good enough to get angry. So dont even try it. I have been able to hope for the best, expect the worst, and take what comes along. I chipped in from the rough! Wash your balls. I had a hole in nothing. Siegfried Sassoon, Golf is the infallible test. It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take. Lorena Bobbit stealing your putter! As in, surf the web, gather knowledge, and share them. Steve Alten, Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. The most important shot in golf is the next one. Ben Hogan, 56. I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyones game: its called an eraser. Arnold Palmer, the King of golf and comedy apparently. I smile at obstacles. Tiger Woods, 13. Theres no sense in going to a tournament if you dont believe that you can win it. Tiger Woods, 20. Why dont skeletons play golf? What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Raymond Floyd. Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you. Arnold Palmer, 65. To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Your email address will not be published. I have always had a drive that pushed me to try for perfection, and golf is a game that perfection stays just out of reach. Betsy Rawls, 12. Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. Paul Harvey calling every golfer out. If I learn that you are a fan of diving - I would suppose that your psychological portrait includes such features as curiosity, patience, and insistence. After shooting 30 over par after 18 holes, Jim is on his way home from the 18th having a chat with his Karen. "Golf is like a love affair. Basketball is a sport for black men. "Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church." brockoli117 on Reddit.com. He said. How the heck did that happen? Keep your sense of humor. "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." Required fields are marked *. Gerald Ford, If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. Phyllis Diller, with her outrageous teased hair and housewife caricature stage persona, was a master of delivery and comedic timing. As he approached the threesome, he said Hey guys, do you mind if I play through. Thats incredible. If you worry about the ones you missed, you are going to keep missing them. Walter Hagen, 47. My drives aren't always long and straight.. but I can show you what is! 7. A smart shot is when you dont have the guts to try it. Phil Mickelson, 4. H. G. Wells, The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. I like big putts and I cannot lie. Two rounds a day are plenty. P-U-T-T is correct, the instructor replied. All he knows how to play with is Clubs! In the Golf of Mexico! Joey Adams, A well-hit golf shot is a feeling that goes up the shaft, right through your hands, and into your heart. Your fifth putt. Joe Tessitore, The least thing upset him on the links. 56 Golf Pick Up Lines Many golfing terms sound naughty. Please read here for more information. A married couple were golfing when all of a sudden the wife asks, Wife: Honey, if I die, will you marry again?, Wife: Will you let her sleep in our bed?, Wife: Would you even let her use my golf clubs?. She lined the ball up carefully and confidently stroked the winning putt. The Jew, bragging about his virility said, I have four sons, one more and I will have a basketball team!, The Catholic pooh-poohs that accomplishment, stating, That is nothing actually. Required fields are marked *. I asked my caddie what he thought of my game. Gardner Dickinson, Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. Intercourse! You either need to learn to drink or take up golf. Turns out Im not a good scotch drinker. Sam Snead, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. 7. David Brenner, For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the Jim Murray. Wodehouse, The value of routine; trusting your swing. Leslie Nielsen, Mini-golf is a lot like life. Fore! Andy. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Besides that, I love to explore. If you dont take it seriously, its no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. "The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.". Golf is a puzzle without an answer. It can be difficult. 4. Tell me what your favorite sports game is, and I will tell you, who you are. Steve Bann, Theres a reason why golfers walk forward to their next shot. I like big putts and I cannot lie. Your email address will not be published. Your butt reminds me of St Andrews.. Hard and Firm. 2. Im a friend and all Im going to do is give it a nice little ride. Sam Snead, 35. Hitting the ball well is about thirty percent of it. Oh my God, what have I just said?". How about you be my caddy and wash my balls tonight? See more ideas about golf quotes, golf, golf humor. Billy Graham, Show me a man who is a good loser and Ill show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. . Golf got its name because all of the other four-letter words were taken. You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots but you have to play where it lies. Bobby Jones, 23. Ben Hogan, And theres many neat cottages with gardens very nice / And picturesque villas, which can be rented at a reasonable price / Besides, theres a golf course for those that such a game seeks / Which would prove a great attraction to the knights of clubs and cleeks. Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. Dont even putt. It took one afternoon on the golf course. Hank Aaron, owner of 755 home runs and one amazing golf quote. Dirty Golf Pick Up Lines. See more ideas about golf quotes funny, golf, golf quotes. They have a hard drive. 8. 3. If we weren't, we'd take up a less infuriating hobby, like knitting. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. 3 of 10. 5. So that you can share them back, with the whole world. Apparently, you cant get out of here with a seven. Because you got me soaking wet. USE OF AND/OR REGISTRATION ON ANY PORTION OF THIS SITE CONSTITUTES ACCEPTANCE OF OURVISITOR AGREEMENT(UPDATED 1/6/23),PRIVACY AND COOKIES NOTICE(UPDATED 1/4/23) ANDCALIFORNIA PRIVACY NOTICE. P-U-T-T means merely a futile attempt to do the same thing.. Such is the game. My doctor told me I cant play golf. Oh, when did he play with you?. What do you getll a blonde at the driving range? Jan 1, 2016 - Explore Uwharrie Point | Golf Communit's board "Golf Quotes", followed by 482 people on Pinterest. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. You want some dirty golfing jokes, we got them for you. After several minutes of pondering how to hit the shot, the old man says, You know, when I was your age, Id hit the ball right over that tree. With the challenge before him, the young man swings hard, hits the ball, watches it fly into the branches, rattle around, and land with a thud a foot from where it had started. Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. The pressure originates in yourself; it builds from doubts. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Full Text: And yet another day has passed and I did not use algebra once. If you think youre standing too close to the ball, make sure youve actually struck it with your club after swinging. How about you bring two of your friends and we play a foursome? A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. Please add a link to this article. Noah who? / In despair my overburdened spirit sinks / Till I wish that every golfer was in glory / And I pray the sea may overflow the links. / They havent turned up, and I doubt if they will. You look like you'd be a great ball-washer. The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie. Mickey Mantle, owner of one of the sweetest swings in baseball, not so much in golf. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. Any birdie will do. Look at the size of his putter. Of all the hazards, fear is the worst. Sam Snead, 27. Dave Barry, Golf is the only game I know where you call a foul on yourself. What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? What is the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough? Ted Ray, I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. These quotes and images about funny golf are the truest, wisest, and most positive ones to be found on the web. Why didnt the golfer finish his homework? The means are as important as the ends. I figured my local caddy knew this course a whole lot better than me, so I just put my hand out and played whatever club he put in it. Play golf. Steve Bann, It is surely quite superfluous to mention / To a person who has been here half an hour / That Golf is what engrosses the attention / Of the people, with an all-absorbing power. Why don't golfers ever eat pie? Paul Harvey, While playing golf today I hit two good balls. A threesome were getting ready to tee off on the 10thwhen they notice a single player, running up the fairway, taking a shot almost immediately to then run up to the green for a 3 putt to put it in. Clubbing. Arnold Palmer is playing in a big tournament and comes to a 235 yard par-3. 3 / 10. Because he thought every day he needed to play around. The other 20. He couldnt stop puttzing around! One fine day, John and Don are out golfing when John slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. Sometimes a good joke can lighten up the mood. Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. Gerald R. Ford, the 38th President of the United States and the first to admit a lack of talent on the links. And that thought is: Dont think. A two-foot putt on the practice green doesnt spark many doubts. There are no absolutes in golf. Use these pick up lines to your advantage in starting a chat with your guy or girl. The smile looks really good on you. How about grabbing two of your friends so we can play a foursome? There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating.